Sir Elton John, Juggler

What's next? Will I be stuffing everyone's stockings with Cheesecake Factory gift
certificates? Will I start downloading Journey ringtones? Who knows? As the power ballad on "Arrested Development" has it, you have to "keep your balls in the air." I'm trying, but who knows how things will tumble down now that Sir Elton has tossed my balls in the air. What I'm trying to say is ...

Elton Rocks!

And, no, I won't say he "Crocodile Rocks" 'cause that song still gives me the heebie jeebies (as did the collective boogie that song inspired--I didn't have to look around twice to know I was the only one who had picked up Aamon Duul II's "Phallus Dei" on the way to the show). That said...I am now an Elton John fan. If I ever ranted at you (um, Vegh) about your purchase of "Yellow Brick Road," please forgive my dullness. It seems suddenly very silly to harbor any sort of negative strong feelings to this Friend of the Muppets (and of Dorothy) ("Wizard of Oz" is my all time favorite movie fer pete's sake). And after "Funeral for a Friend," and C's reaction, any resitance was futile.

I melted...I,uh, lay melting in his hands.

I am now officially PRO-ELTON.

Now go buy his new album, please. It is very good.